Nowhere Is Safe.

I am a seventeen-year-old girl. I work with many girls in the field of writing. This work is meaningful to me, but some people look at it from a different perspective—one filled with misguided judgment. I am in contact with many people and I try to expand my teamwork and collaborations. Unfortunately, some people try to take advantage of these relationships to satisfy their personal desires. Today, with a heart full of sorrow, I am writing these lines for everyone.

It was close to eleven at night, and I was explaining the plans for our writing team to my teacher. My intention was to collaborate, but he interpreted it differently. I had not even finished writing half of the plans when he messaged me: “Have you decided not to get married?” His question seemed strange to me. At first, I thought he was joking. I replied, “No, I do not intend to get married for now. I need to focus on my studies. I have a long journey ahead of me. If I stop working now and start thinking about marriage, how would I be any different from my mother? She also got married at my age, but remained uneducated.”

A few moments later, he messaged again: “When will you be ready to get married? For the rest of your journey, you need a companion. Being alone is tiring, and you might become depressed.” His message sent a shiver through my body. I thought to myself, perhaps this is not him; maybe someone else has his phone. With a troubled mind and trembling hands, I wrote: “Teacher, please let us not go beyond the subject of our group. I need to organize tomorrow’s plans. These questions are not appropriate for you, and it would be better not to mix professional matters with personal issues.”

After reading my response, he wrote again: “A girl with this much talent should not marry an uneducated man. You should be with someone who can take you to the heights of success, someone who can make life a paradise for you. I do not mean to interfere, but whenever you want to get married, you can count on me. I know you want me too, but circumstances have prevented it…”

That message sent a shock through me. Someone I was in contact with as a teacher and colleague had written such things to me! I replied: “Teacher, you have become very playful tonight. But you should not bring up these matters in the middle of our work again. You are only my teacher, and your collaboration with me has meaning only within that framework. My future and personal life are my own concern. You have a family, a wife, and children; it would be better for you to think about them. The most important thing in life is family, and you already have one. Thank you for collaborating with me until now, but from this point forward, I will go my own way. Please do not bother me. I love myself and my work, not a shameless and conscienceless person like you. And I never will.”

This message disturbed me so deeply that it was hard to believe. A teacher, an educated and married man, several times older than me, had created such immoral fantasies about me in his mind. I immediately blocked his number. Then I began wondering why some people, especially educated men, behave this way. Why can they not control desires that are so far removed from decency and morality?

I was only in contact with him as a student, for the purpose of collaborating on our writing team. But he had imagined that I had fallen in love with him. In a society where a teacher behaves like this, progress becomes impossible. A teacher has the responsibility of educating and shaping the next generation. Yet some teachers are not only irresponsible; they contaminate society. Their presence is harmful rather than beneficial.

In Afghanistan, girls cannot easily trust anyone. If we speak about such issues, society immediately blames the girl. They say, “If you were not a bad girl yourself, you would never have received such a proposal!” Some families also compare their daughters with other girls. Making a mistake is not painful, but constantly having that mistake thrown in a girl’s face can destroy her. Experiences like these can sometimes lead to the abuse and even death of girls.

I wrote about this experience to say that every human being has boundaries. We should not hurt someone through our messages or behavior. We should not take the good intentions of another person and turn them into something negative and immoral.